Today I Chose Joy

Well today is memorial day 2010. I will make this short because I really want to be out side on this MARVELOUS day! it so pretty outside. But I wanted to record my thoughts right now.

I have had a relatively hard 2 weeks. I have been pretty lonely. So when 7 of my closet friends came, it was bitter sweet. It was AMAZING and wonderful, but it also left me with a longing. I reminder of how richly I am blessed. It also reminded me I do not have the same intimacy here. However, it reminded me that it took 4 years to get to the depth of the friendships I have now. So not to loose hope!

However, I have a choice. I can dwell on my loneliness and feel sorry for myself. Or I can cling to truth. I am here in North Carolina for a reason. And I need to walk ahead. I may not know where I am walking or why I am walking or what to do while I walk. But I need to keep walking forward. I know God was up to something 1.5 years ago when he lead me to Hebrews 11. I can not be more grateful for those 39 verses.

Today I am thinking about these verses:

¹³All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. ¹⁴People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. ¹⁵If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. ¹⁶Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

I cant think of Orlando, and all I am missing. I need to keep my eyes ahead. I love the lyrics of Walk On Water. Sometimes I am scared of getting out of the boat. But I chose to walk on the water too.

"So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go"

I already stepped out of the boat, but I just am working on not turning around.

So today, I choose joy. Today I chose adventure. Today I choose my King.

On a different thought.

Last night we were playing a game called , You Best Life Now! Yes, it was a Joel Osteen game, based on his book. It could potentially (that's used loosely) be a good game, except when u play with 15 ppl. Then it is out of control. However, a couple of us girls had great moments with the game.

We had to write down a goal. Mine was to get a full time job. Then you are handed 5 cards and you have to pick one of you cards and use this card to say something about your goal. But you have to say this statement into a mirror to yourself.

So my goal was to get a full time job. My card was "Potential." So I said things like, "I believe I have potential to get a full time job." (Everyone cheers) "I can get a job that pays more than minimum wage" (Cheering) "I can get a job better than cleaning toilets" (Cheering) Then. Then. My friend Mandy says the thing that hits my heart string: "You can get a job you LOVE." WOW. I said it, "I can get a job I love." Now this has been a huge thing for me. A struggle if you may. I left my "job" with TLC/UPC. The job that made my heart feel alive. The full time volunteer job that made my heart alive. It was the job that when I left I would think, wow, this is what God created me for. I can not describe how much I LOVED working with TLC and UCF and UPC and the team. It was a hard choice to make. But I did chose to leave and follow my husband to come to NC. It was a very difficult decision to make. But I felt God leading me, and I actively chose to follow God. I was not pressured, I was not manipulated. I actively followed. The key word is actively. It was not a passive decision I was not a apart of. I was very much apart of this decision, and I went.

So I come to NC with hopes and dreams about what life will be like here. It hasn't exactly been my plans. But my plans were never promised to me. I trust his plans way better than mine. I can not see the whole puzzle, just the one piece.

So when Mandy says, "Amanda you will have a job, and a job you love." I said it. And when I said it. I realized I don't believe. But I long for it. So I was laughing and started to tear up. And when I looked at Mandy I knew she believed it for me. So we both started our crying but laughing so hard moment. Moment number 2 for us. We are redic. But I am thankful for a friend to remind me of truth.

So.....today I chose to run the race. Today I chose to run to the Father who lead me here:)

Philipians 3:13-14 But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Luke 9:62 But Jesus said to him, "No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

My play list today:
Walk on Water Britt Nicole
The Climb Miley Cyrus
Wild Horse Natasha Bedingfield
Have Your Way Britt Nicole